Ms E again!

If you've read my earlier posting about crazy Ms E, guess what??? She called again today!!!! She wants to meet up and discuss about this stupid project. I actually kinda told her off since today was her dateline and a one week extension is not gonna create miracles. Anyway, she said that she would still need to meet up. This better be worth it man! I've been getting a lot of nonsensical clients lately. Bah!

Me.... super artist!

This has got to be the most bizzare telephone conversation I've ever encountered today...

Phone ringing...

Me: Ginseng...
Ms E: Err...hello? Is this Mr Ginseng?
Me: Yes, this is he. May I know who is on the line?
Ms E: My name is E. May I know whether you do any 3D perspective drawings or not?
Me: Yes, we do have that service.
Ms E: Ok... I want to know how fast can you draw?
Me: ??? I'm sorry.... I didn't catch your question?
Ms E: I said, how fast can you draw a 3D perspective drawing if I give you a job?
Me: Well, it really depends on what you want us to draw and how detailed the drawing is. But before...
Ms E: I need you to draw an illustration of shoplots. Can you do it?
Me: Huh? May I know what is this about?
Ms E: I need you to draw and paint an illustration of shoplots...you know, like those on in the newspapers, with people and cars and trees one...
Me: We need to sit down and talk this over first, Ms E. We need to know the concept and what is the budget you are willing to work on, and also...
Ms E: No, no, no.... you don't understand!!! I want you to just draw a row of shoplots. You figure out the design and concept. My clients just want to test water on their piece of land with your drawing on our billboard and see if got anyone call for inquiry or not. So, how much do you charge for your drawings?
Me: Excuse me, we don't do artist impression services. We use computer softwares to do these, besides, we cannot just draw something for you like that. We are designers, not architects! What we design may not be architecturally viable. Also, I'm sure your client have an idea on what they want to built right?
Ms E: They want to built shoplots lah! I already said mah! I don't have very much time, I need the drawings by this Thursday.
Me: Thursday???!!!! I'm afraid I have to decline this job. It's too rush and if we are going to be doing a rush job, I'd rather not do it. I hope you understand.
Ms E: But..but.... you are the 4th person who is rejecting already. Please lah... I've a dateline this Thursday. I need you to draw for me.
Me: (Thinking.. I draw you lidi house with lots of orang lidi, then only you know! Siao wan!) Err... Ms E, I don't think you understand... there is no concept, no architectural drawing and also no approval for development for this piece of land. I think you should review your client's profile before taking this project. BTW, do you have the map of that piece of land?
Ms E: No wor.
Me: Have you seen that piece of land? Do you know how big is it?
Ms E: No.
Me: Exactly my point! Thanks but no thanks. I can't take this project. Have a nice day.
Ms E: But...but...

*click!.......

About the Love for Chocolates

OMG!!! My long lost sweet tooth which I've managed to keep deep down in the basement has emerged again!!! And this time it returned with a vengence!!! My girth is so going to suffer. Anyway, I did notice that this sudden craving for chocolates started when I began those 2 "mega' projects this year. It MUST be the stress. I believe my body must be crying out for those "sugar and spice & everything nice" chemical which cocoa beans stimulates in one's body to create a "happy state."

I've so far devoured half a tong of Celebrations in 2 days, made myself the most sinful ever batch of tiramisu and finished that in 2 sittings! I'm actually contemplating whether I should make a quick dash to 7 Eleven for another quick fix of Cadbury bar. Haih!!!! Die lah like that!!!! I think I'll worry about it later. I've to go get the Cadbury bar first...it's calling me... bye!

Criterias to successful career in the shipping industry

Here is a general guide line on the the essential criteria for those who are interested in exploring the wonderful world of shipping and logistics.

1. A general degree is not a must, but people with skills in extreme lying, pushing away responsibilities, and blurness to ones surrounding is essential.

2. You must be deaf (or at least appear to be one), since you are required to act oblivious to the phone ringing till it's off the hook.

3. You must be highly experienced in computer skills such as MSN messenger, porn search engines, and entering chat rooms.

4. Additional skills to look out for are ability to down alcoholic beverages like there's no tomorrow and start to cuss and annoy everyone around you before vomitting onto the girl's lap who is sitting next to you.

5. Personal attributes should include, extreme foul language (preferably in Hokkien), having annoying loud techno music as your ringtone, talking even louder on the handphone and every thing that does not equal to finess, poise and good manners.

6. Tardiness and frequent forgetfulness to appear for appointments will be highly regarded by your future employers.

7. It is ok to not want to learn the local network system since you are not expected to stay for more than 6 months in a particular company anyway.

If you fit the above dsecription, then CONGRATULATIONS! You have just found a new industry that will fit you like a glove.

Orang orang rumah teres

I've recently did a small study on my client demography and I realised one group of people I should avoid doing business with. They are called the "orang rumah teres." Why??? I'm sure you'll ask. This is why.

1. Bungalow clients - They have big budget and most of the time, discerning taste. Hence they are willing to pay. Fussy people but I can live with that. Especially if they give me carte blanc.

2. Apartment/ flat clients - They may not have very big budget most of the time. But they are honest about it and they tell you exactly how much they are willing to spend on their budget. This makes it very easy to give them the best quality they can afford.

3. Orang rumah teres clients - This group of people are really strange. They do not like to give you a budget and ask for the best of everything. After negotiating and requesting you to appear at their doorsteps for the 100th time, they finally tell you they want the house done up like a millionaire bungalow, WITH A FLAT BUDGET!!!

Orang rumah teres does not only suffer from low self esteem since they compare themselves all the time to their wealthier Semi-Dees and Bungalow comrades, but also suffer severely from Kiasu syndrom. They require such perfection on the stitching, that even Christian Dior's best seamstresses will to be put to shame. They also love to seek for freebies such as tiebelt hooks, expensive looking curtain ropes and even curtain rod rings because they think that they must get the most out of your services!!!! Apalah!!!!????

These orang rumah teres almost always will use the word bayar 5 kali or 10 kali when it comes to footing their bill. If you don't have the budget, don't over do lah!!! Alway confirm their orders and when it's time to deliver, they will have all kinds of story why they have to pay by installments. Blardy pundek! Hope your rumah teres all crumble and swallow you into the fiery pits of hell! Bah!

Substance versus quantity

Ah.... yet another year pass and it's time for the SPM results to be announced, yet again. I can hardly remember mine since it's been eons ago (14 years to be exact!). Anyway, I'm not gonna blurt about the excitement of getting one's results or the anxiety attacks one goes through before walking into the HM's room to collect the result slips. You guys out there would have already gone through all that.

What I DO realise is, the amount of subjects students are taking on their SPM compared to our time is like... makes us oldies seem kinda incompetent, no? Just today, The Star paper mentioned a certain lass's possibility of scoring 19 A1's! I remember having to take 9 subjects and I thought I was already taking one too many. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, despite all that additional subjects and all that A1's, it seems that our students still have a long way to go in terms of English efficiency (that goes for nearly all races, mind you!) and also independent thoughts. Of all the young 'uns I've met, almost everyone couldn't speak simple, proper English, and almost everyone is dependable on others to tell them what to do and when to do. I think our education system is training our youths to be followers, with no room for creative thinking. Think about it, I've interviewed so many graduates that seems very potential on paper. But when it comes to the actual work, they drown like a sinking weight. So, more A1's that 14 years ago? It may look good on paper, but I have my reservations lah.

I try lah....

Today is one heck of a trying day. God must really love me.

1. I tried to wake up but my body wouldn't listen to my synapses.
2. I tried to gulp down my coffee in a hurry and I burned my tongue.
3. I tried to avoid collision with that fucking moron who was committing suicide on the NKVE at 160 km/hr.
4. I tried to smile at the toll booth lady even though she gave me a look as if I owe her a living.
5. I tried to keep my composition and not pounce and murder my staff for causing yet another expensive istake.
6. I tried not to faint under the scorching hot sun looking for this new customer's office.
7. I tried to be patient with clueless clients who doesn't know where is the location of their new house.
8. I tried to convince my staff not to take any more leave after CNY.


Hence, I really, really try lay!!!! I'm leaving...Bye bye.

Full speed ahead!

Glad I squished that horrible flu and got rid of it. It wasn't the most fun thing to get, by the way. Especially when you get medication that lures you to la la land and pills that clogs your dearier. Enough said! Anyway, I'm fit as a fiddle and ready to get back into some self torture (read: work, travel and be a slave to my customers).

Guess this year will be quite interesting since whatever stalled plans and delayed projects are all starting this year and will be moving faster than I thought. Scary but I guess I've to get out of that nutshell and just do it lah!

Last Tuesday was quite glorious since my work was featured during one of my client's grand opening in a shopping mall in KL. I guess it's good for publicity lah. Hope this will widen my network. Anyway, back to work since my next big project just called and have confirmed a meeting for tomorrow. Kaching, kaching!!!!...hehehehehehehe!!!!

Power failure and a couple of sniffles

Dang!!! Thought that catching a stomach flu was bad enough. But a power failure at 6am??? Honestly, sometimes I think the Big Boss up in the Heavens just love to see me on my toes. This is not the first time too that my power fuse gave up on me. I'm not sure whether it's the main fuse this time coz my neighbour and the guard house had a blackout as well. Let' hope TNB is able to solve this by today since I'm not keen on my fridge not functioning for a long period of time.

About the flu bug, it hit me like a truck running over some road kill yesterday morning. I couldn't even get out of bed! Imagine the kind of energy I've to squeeze out to go to the toilet because there was an added bonus to this flu...diarrhea!!! Anyway, took my ORS, lots of drugs, got myself halucinating in no time and plopped back into la-la land by lunch time. I'm still kinda in a daze from those drugs the doctor prescribed me (dang!!! these pills are really strong lah! no JOKE!) But I'm glad that the diarrhea stopped. So, here I am in the office trying to look sane and have to get all that back logged work cleared out.

Gong Xi, Gong Xi, Gong Xi Ni!

Yay!!! The Lunar Nnew Year is fast approaching. As usual, I'm looking forward to it though I've done zilt preparations this year. So, I guess tomorrow night will be cleaning house ler. Well, to all you drivers out there, drive safely and those who are staying behind, enjoy safely and don't drink and drive. Peace out!

On the ball

Wow... I didn't know anyone could have a shitty day 4 days in a row! I MUST be having a ball BABY!!! Just yesterday, apart from all the crappy things I do called "work," my car got broken in during a quick lunch at ALAMANDA, Putrajaya!!! Now, ain't that pisses you off??? Only thing that probably saved my day was nothing got stolen. There was nothing worth to steal to begin with lah. So, now, I've got a broken key hole and a faulty window to fix. More $$$ flying out of the pocket before the Lunar New Year.

The only explanation I have for this is that since 2006 is not a good year for the Dragon, this is probably the last kopek of bad luck the year is trying to ooze out of me before the Boar is ushered in. Either that, my constalation is clashing with either Venus for being more fabulous and devine than her or I've probably angererd Neptune hence, all the prodding with His fork. So, I guess the Gods are angry with me. Tough luck cause you guys can prod and curse all you want but the year of the Boar is going to be a fabulous year for me. Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh!!! Eat your hearts out, bebbeh!!!

Think happy thoughts...

It's another shitty day. So, I'd like to recollect my happy thoughts to end it with a happy note. Here it goes...

1. I ate a bar of chocolates for lunch.
2. I saw pretty houses in Putrajaya.
3. I managed to solve 80% of the issues that propt out this morning.
4. My customer was very happy with the "kam" that I bought them this morning.
5. My begging worked with the shipping line after telling some really sad story to get some documents done for my client.
6. "Superwoman" did me a favour to send an urgent document to a VIP client.
7. There was no traffic jam today.
8. My phone stopped ringing after 6pm!
9. The office phone stopped ringing after 6.10pm!! :-)
10. I'm going home now! Yippee!!!

Ok, now I'm happy. Taa!

BTW, Desperate Housewives's back! THAT'S happy news.

Joe Jer & Zabrina, you make us proud!

The finale for The Amazing Race Asia finally ended recently and my favourite team won! I'm so happy Joe Jer and Zabrina snagged the big moolah because they have been the most level headed and non-controversial team so far. I guess modesty and brains work very well as a team.

Anyway, having said all that, I've always wondered how tough the entire race is, actually. I mean, do they actually race non-stop? Or do they get a week off at each pit stop and then start again? After all, all the contestants are human right? Mana boleh lari sini sana non-stop one, right??? Would be a great experience though to at least try though... any takers out there for season 2?

2 long days

Ahhh..... such bliss to have my ever Superwoman staff back in the office today! You see, in the name of improving staff's ability, I sent my trusty customer service for a 2 day intensive training. Never mind the reluctance from my staff or that it costs me a bomb. I persuaded her and told her that it was a once in a lifetime chance.

Anyway, she went, and that's when I was sent down to purgatory for 2 days. Honestly, it doesn't take too long for someone to forget all the tedious paper work of this industry when one has the luxury of very good staff to take care of them. Ahem.... I'm one of the guilty ones. :-P
For the past 2 days, things has been a chaos for me, trying to remember all the steps on how to release an import document, what was needed to release the haulage pick ups, so on and so forth. To make things short, I panicked. There were a few hiccups here and there but eventually, by the end of the first day, I managed to get out with minimal injuries. The 2nd day was just as busy, juggling all her work, while handling the phones. Also, not forgetting the prior appointments I made for myself! Again, it ended late and tiring. Nevertheless, everything was done when night falls.

I guess the actual person who ended up "in training" was me. It certainly took me by surprise and this "refresher course" made me appreciate Superwoman even more now. Ironic isn't it?

Another one of my rants

This new year hasn't really started off quite smoothly, as you've probably read my earlier postings. Today isn't any different (that's why I'm still in the freakin' office at 8:30pm!!!!) Anyway, I'm not going to let it bother me much longer cause it's late and I can't think straight anymore.

We've just passed half of this week and everyday has been a character building day. Just today, I've to send my trusty rusty to the workshop to get an oil change. And while the mechanics were at it, rusty needed it's timing belt changed, a new brake pump, several change of headlight bulbs, a lipo suction, botox jobs, a chemical peel, a nose reconstruction, etc... we did the whole works, we were just short of a boob job. Cost me a freakin' 600 bucks!

Then, I have to inch my way through our famous federal highway all the way from Shah Alam to KL and then waste another 30 mins looking for a blardy car park to get to my suppliers. Thought that I could just grab those curtains and pillow cases and cabut. Luckily I opened the bag. Found out that the pillow cases' trimming was done so badly, I had to reject the whole lot. The entire trip was futile. Kanineh! Have no choice but to inch my way back towards Shah Alam/ Klang and THAT'S why I'm still in the office.

Can't wait for this coming Saturday to rest since it is a public holiday...Wait!!!....There's the condo RA election and then later dinner at mom's since Sis is back home and a cousin is coming over to show off her brand new baby. Sigh.... I wonder how I can still keep my sanity intact.

Cold Feet

It's been two weeks into the New Year and I know that I've said that there are many things in store this year that will and is suppose to change my life this time round. But of late, I've suddenly been asking myself questions whether am I doing the right thing or not? I mean, chartering into new frontiers and new unfamiliar grounds seems quite scary at this moment. It's like going into a foreign land without knowing what is in store for you. That's when I got cold feet.

I'll probably kick myself in the derrier later, but I think I need to take one step back and fully analyse the entire situation before delving and commiting further into the "gold mine" in store for me. Something is telling that it's too good to be true. I've NEVER had anything come so easily in my life and don't think that it will ever happen. There has to be a catch somewhere. Someone out there please tell me what to do cause I'm at a lost at this moment and it's driving me crazy!

2007....and getting nostalgic

Happy New Year to all you readers out there!!! I have meant t0 post earlier but several things (including the recent earthquake in Taiwan which disrupted our broadband services) sort of delayed my first post for the year. Anyway, I hope there will be plenty of positive things to look out for everyone (I know for sure that this is going to be an exciting year for me!) this year.

I was clearing up the house the other day (and to take down that Christmas tree) and stumbled upon a photo album that was about 10 years old. In there were all the pictures I had taken when I was still in college in Illinois, USA. Flipping throught the pages, I went back to memory lane. I can vividly recall the good times and carefree moments I spent with all my friends during those 3 1/2 years. Those were the best moments of my life. It struck me that all these years of climbing the corporate ladder, I lost touch with most of them, one by one, even though we all have email addresses. So, I started a little project to trace back these friends of mine. You never know the power of the internet until you try it. I mean, I could have been a successful stalker if I want to! LOL.

I began my primary seach through google search, last know employment websites and the white pages for my American friends. I managed to get in touch with one of them, who is currently living in Munich. He's a Ph.D holder now. Through him, I managed to reconnect back with my other friends from Germany. I was on top of the world shooting emails back to these friends. I also found out that another good friend from South America married one of our German friends and now live in Frankfurt. Through her, I reconnected with friends who are now living in Equador, Mexico and our dear friend from Lesotho, who is doing her Ph.D as well in the UK. Before long, I managed to get almost everyone's email address from one person or the other. I've also received an invitation to a wedding in Birmingham in Aug! Air Asia X certainly came at the right time. :-)

This is indeed a great start for the new year! I've managed to reconnected with friends I've known 10 years ago. I do intend to keep in touch regularly this time round. You can't afford to loose a friend twice.

Post Christmas Blues

Well, Christmas came and gone like a flash of light. Never knew that I did so much for that 1 day (actually, it was like a few hours). This is how a modern Christmas day is like.

23 Dec.
- Work till 8pm. Have a quick dinner and rush to the airport to pick up long lost friends from Melbourne. After that, send them to the hotel and rush back to the apartment to celebrate Tong Dzi with my neighbors. Alas, Tong Zhi is not meant to be because the flight was delayed for 4 hours. So, I spent Tong Zhi at the airport.

24 Dec.
- Was at the office till 11am. Mom called to emotionally blackmail me for not coming home for Tong Zhi. Further reprimanded me for not coming home because dear ol' sister is back in town. Ended up having to come home to show my face to the family. After dinner, rush back to the apartment and get ready for Midnight Mass. Reached the church late and had to sit outside since the church was already jammed packed. Reached home at 2 am.

25 Dec.
- Crawl out of bed at 10 am to get ready for Chistmas lunch cum gift exchange with some church people and long lost friends. I left at 4 pm to go back to prepare a small dinner for the family. What was meant to be a dinner for 5 ended up with a banquet for 15. Note to myself, never under estimate the power of a free dinner. Slept at 3 am after cleaning up all the mess in the apartment by myself. The family happily went back with a full stomach.

26 Dec.
- Have to work!!! Woke up on Boxing Day with aches all over. But still have to go into the office since there is a ship coming in that day. Worked till 9pm.

27 Dec.
- Pengsan till 11 am. Didn't bother to pick up the phone nor went into the office.

This is the most tiring Christmas yet. :-(

1st order of the day...Blame the public

We've yet again landed ourselves in the land of "Nevermind what I just said coz I'm really stupid." Honestly, I'm getting really worried lah. What type of people are we electing into our public offices!!! Today, some half baked deputy minister decided that it was his turn to point fingers at the public for the rising cases of snatched thefts. Why are we blaming the public for what is happening instead of really addressing the REAL issue??? Are they saying that the snatch thefts did no wrong?

So, as of today, if you get robbed or snatched because you're using your hard earned Prada or LV, then it's tai sei lor. Or, if you get hijacked because you are driving a brand spanking new Beemer, then, it's also your fault because you should not show off! Worse still, you or your loved one gets raped, all because she is wearing something in the form of a camisole or short skirt. So, should the women be blamed again for wearing revealing clothing that caused them to be raped!!!???

We have a serious problem that starts from the head (or the lack of it). By saying that it's the public's fault for snatch thefts, rape, incests, robbery, etc...instead of some insane person's action to satisfy a drug addiction or worse, some crazy sex fantasy is just low. I hope this doink gets mugged, raped and then repeated all over again. Then let's see who's fault is it then. Bah!

Of all horrors!!!!

Picture Courtesy of The STAR

OMG!!! What is this world coming to!!!??? I read with greatest dismay over today's STAR article - "Dog loses jaw after cruel beating by BAVANI M." Apparently, JOY, a little black dog had to have his jaw surgically removed after he was almost beaten to death by some moronic doinks in the form of Indonesian construction workers. Now, how sick is that? What have this poor dog done to deserve to be beaten to the point of breaking his entire jaw?

What moved me to tears was, despite what was done to him, Joy still looks at people to be petted and loved. Even in his simplest form of understanding, he still knows love and still have so much of it to offer. Apparently, these bloody Indon dumbfucks were beating up Joy while repeatedly saying "haram, haram." Now, is beating up an innocent dog halal indeed? Why don't we all beat them dumbfucks till their jaws dangle from their chin, while chanting "pendatang haram?" Joy was probably being friendly and tried to approach these dumbfucks for some food or companionship. I've seen many of such dogs at construction sites. They are normally very friendly. I still remember one of my work assignments landed me at a construction site preparing to send some equipments back to New Zealand for a some Kiwis. They were sharing their lunch with one of those dogs when I arrived. The scenario was so different to this.

Though all is not lost when the news was highlighted, a certain "Dr Habeeb Rahman Ibramsa, a lecturer in Quran and Sunnah studies at the International Islamic University in Gombak, volunteered to give a talk to the foreign workers who were involved in the beating of Joy. But, to date, the owners of KIP Group (the Indon's employers) has refused to co-operate." So much for a bunch of caring Malaysians! I hope your company will go bankrupt for such inconsiderate attitude!

“I wish to end this ignorance. The Quran does not support violence against animals; I am willing to give lectures, presentations and screen videos that support what I am saying.
“I hope the public, Government officials, foreign workers and others who need to hear this truth will attend,” said Dr Habeeb.

Joy may have lost a jaw from a painful and life threatening ordeal, but he has the compassion to forgive and be delighted those who care to fuss over him.

For everyone's information, there will be a gathering held at the Canteen Restaurant in Plaza Damas by the Furry Friends Farm (FFF), to support Joy (May the Lord bless them, they are the very people who saved joy from this ordeal). Those interested in attending can also bring a little gift for him.

For details, call Yeap from FFF at 016-631 9018.