Ms E again!

If you've read my earlier posting about crazy Ms E, guess what??? She called again today!!!! She wants to meet up and discuss about this stupid project. I actually kinda told her off since today was her dateline and a one week extension is not gonna create miracles. Anyway, she said that she would still need to meet up. This better be worth it man! I've been getting a lot of nonsensical clients lately. Bah!

Me.... super artist!

This has got to be the most bizzare telephone conversation I've ever encountered today...

Phone ringing...

Me: Ginseng...
Ms E: Err...hello? Is this Mr Ginseng?
Me: Yes, this is he. May I know who is on the line?
Ms E: My name is E. May I know whether you do any 3D perspective drawings or not?
Me: Yes, we do have that service.
Ms E: Ok... I want to know how fast can you draw?
Me: ??? I'm sorry.... I didn't catch your question?
Ms E: I said, how fast can you draw a 3D perspective drawing if I give you a job?
Me: Well, it really depends on what you want us to draw and how detailed the drawing is. But before...
Ms E: I need you to draw an illustration of shoplots. Can you do it?
Me: Huh? May I know what is this about?
Ms E: I need you to draw and paint an illustration of shoplots...you know, like those on in the newspapers, with people and cars and trees one...
Me: We need to sit down and talk this over first, Ms E. We need to know the concept and what is the budget you are willing to work on, and also...
Ms E: No, no, no.... you don't understand!!! I want you to just draw a row of shoplots. You figure out the design and concept. My clients just want to test water on their piece of land with your drawing on our billboard and see if got anyone call for inquiry or not. So, how much do you charge for your drawings?
Me: Excuse me, we don't do artist impression services. We use computer softwares to do these, besides, we cannot just draw something for you like that. We are designers, not architects! What we design may not be architecturally viable. Also, I'm sure your client have an idea on what they want to built right?
Ms E: They want to built shoplots lah! I already said mah! I don't have very much time, I need the drawings by this Thursday.
Me: Thursday???!!!! I'm afraid I have to decline this job. It's too rush and if we are going to be doing a rush job, I'd rather not do it. I hope you understand.
Ms E: But..but.... you are the 4th person who is rejecting already. Please lah... I've a dateline this Thursday. I need you to draw for me.
Me: (Thinking.. I draw you lidi house with lots of orang lidi, then only you know! Siao wan!) Err... Ms E, I don't think you understand... there is no concept, no architectural drawing and also no approval for development for this piece of land. I think you should review your client's profile before taking this project. BTW, do you have the map of that piece of land?
Ms E: No wor.
Me: Have you seen that piece of land? Do you know how big is it?
Ms E: No.
Me: Exactly my point! Thanks but no thanks. I can't take this project. Have a nice day.
Ms E: But...but...

*click!.......

About the Love for Chocolates

OMG!!! My long lost sweet tooth which I've managed to keep deep down in the basement has emerged again!!! And this time it returned with a vengence!!! My girth is so going to suffer. Anyway, I did notice that this sudden craving for chocolates started when I began those 2 "mega' projects this year. It MUST be the stress. I believe my body must be crying out for those "sugar and spice & everything nice" chemical which cocoa beans stimulates in one's body to create a "happy state."

I've so far devoured half a tong of Celebrations in 2 days, made myself the most sinful ever batch of tiramisu and finished that in 2 sittings! I'm actually contemplating whether I should make a quick dash to 7 Eleven for another quick fix of Cadbury bar. Haih!!!! Die lah like that!!!! I think I'll worry about it later. I've to go get the Cadbury bar first...it's calling me... bye!

Criterias to successful career in the shipping industry

Here is a general guide line on the the essential criteria for those who are interested in exploring the wonderful world of shipping and logistics.

1. A general degree is not a must, but people with skills in extreme lying, pushing away responsibilities, and blurness to ones surrounding is essential.

2. You must be deaf (or at least appear to be one), since you are required to act oblivious to the phone ringing till it's off the hook.

3. You must be highly experienced in computer skills such as MSN messenger, porn search engines, and entering chat rooms.

4. Additional skills to look out for are ability to down alcoholic beverages like there's no tomorrow and start to cuss and annoy everyone around you before vomitting onto the girl's lap who is sitting next to you.

5. Personal attributes should include, extreme foul language (preferably in Hokkien), having annoying loud techno music as your ringtone, talking even louder on the handphone and every thing that does not equal to finess, poise and good manners.

6. Tardiness and frequent forgetfulness to appear for appointments will be highly regarded by your future employers.

7. It is ok to not want to learn the local network system since you are not expected to stay for more than 6 months in a particular company anyway.

If you fit the above dsecription, then CONGRATULATIONS! You have just found a new industry that will fit you like a glove.

Orang orang rumah teres

I've recently did a small study on my client demography and I realised one group of people I should avoid doing business with. They are called the "orang rumah teres." Why??? I'm sure you'll ask. This is why.

1. Bungalow clients - They have big budget and most of the time, discerning taste. Hence they are willing to pay. Fussy people but I can live with that. Especially if they give me carte blanc.

2. Apartment/ flat clients - They may not have very big budget most of the time. But they are honest about it and they tell you exactly how much they are willing to spend on their budget. This makes it very easy to give them the best quality they can afford.

3. Orang rumah teres clients - This group of people are really strange. They do not like to give you a budget and ask for the best of everything. After negotiating and requesting you to appear at their doorsteps for the 100th time, they finally tell you they want the house done up like a millionaire bungalow, WITH A FLAT BUDGET!!!

Orang rumah teres does not only suffer from low self esteem since they compare themselves all the time to their wealthier Semi-Dees and Bungalow comrades, but also suffer severely from Kiasu syndrom. They require such perfection on the stitching, that even Christian Dior's best seamstresses will to be put to shame. They also love to seek for freebies such as tiebelt hooks, expensive looking curtain ropes and even curtain rod rings because they think that they must get the most out of your services!!!! Apalah!!!!????

These orang rumah teres almost always will use the word bayar 5 kali or 10 kali when it comes to footing their bill. If you don't have the budget, don't over do lah!!! Alway confirm their orders and when it's time to deliver, they will have all kinds of story why they have to pay by installments. Blardy pundek! Hope your rumah teres all crumble and swallow you into the fiery pits of hell! Bah!

Substance versus quantity

Ah.... yet another year pass and it's time for the SPM results to be announced, yet again. I can hardly remember mine since it's been eons ago (14 years to be exact!). Anyway, I'm not gonna blurt about the excitement of getting one's results or the anxiety attacks one goes through before walking into the HM's room to collect the result slips. You guys out there would have already gone through all that.

What I DO realise is, the amount of subjects students are taking on their SPM compared to our time is like... makes us oldies seem kinda incompetent, no? Just today, The Star paper mentioned a certain lass's possibility of scoring 19 A1's! I remember having to take 9 subjects and I thought I was already taking one too many. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, despite all that additional subjects and all that A1's, it seems that our students still have a long way to go in terms of English efficiency (that goes for nearly all races, mind you!) and also independent thoughts. Of all the young 'uns I've met, almost everyone couldn't speak simple, proper English, and almost everyone is dependable on others to tell them what to do and when to do. I think our education system is training our youths to be followers, with no room for creative thinking. Think about it, I've interviewed so many graduates that seems very potential on paper. But when it comes to the actual work, they drown like a sinking weight. So, more A1's that 14 years ago? It may look good on paper, but I have my reservations lah.

I try lah....

Today is one heck of a trying day. God must really love me.

1. I tried to wake up but my body wouldn't listen to my synapses.
2. I tried to gulp down my coffee in a hurry and I burned my tongue.
3. I tried to avoid collision with that fucking moron who was committing suicide on the NKVE at 160 km/hr.
4. I tried to smile at the toll booth lady even though she gave me a look as if I owe her a living.
5. I tried to keep my composition and not pounce and murder my staff for causing yet another expensive istake.
6. I tried not to faint under the scorching hot sun looking for this new customer's office.
7. I tried to be patient with clueless clients who doesn't know where is the location of their new house.
8. I tried to convince my staff not to take any more leave after CNY.


Hence, I really, really try lay!!!! I'm leaving...Bye bye.

Full speed ahead!

Glad I squished that horrible flu and got rid of it. It wasn't the most fun thing to get, by the way. Especially when you get medication that lures you to la la land and pills that clogs your dearier. Enough said! Anyway, I'm fit as a fiddle and ready to get back into some self torture (read: work, travel and be a slave to my customers).

Guess this year will be quite interesting since whatever stalled plans and delayed projects are all starting this year and will be moving faster than I thought. Scary but I guess I've to get out of that nutshell and just do it lah!

Last Tuesday was quite glorious since my work was featured during one of my client's grand opening in a shopping mall in KL. I guess it's good for publicity lah. Hope this will widen my network. Anyway, back to work since my next big project just called and have confirmed a meeting for tomorrow. Kaching, kaching!!!!...hehehehehehehe!!!!

Power failure and a couple of sniffles

Dang!!! Thought that catching a stomach flu was bad enough. But a power failure at 6am??? Honestly, sometimes I think the Big Boss up in the Heavens just love to see me on my toes. This is not the first time too that my power fuse gave up on me. I'm not sure whether it's the main fuse this time coz my neighbour and the guard house had a blackout as well. Let' hope TNB is able to solve this by today since I'm not keen on my fridge not functioning for a long period of time.

About the flu bug, it hit me like a truck running over some road kill yesterday morning. I couldn't even get out of bed! Imagine the kind of energy I've to squeeze out to go to the toilet because there was an added bonus to this flu...diarrhea!!! Anyway, took my ORS, lots of drugs, got myself halucinating in no time and plopped back into la-la land by lunch time. I'm still kinda in a daze from those drugs the doctor prescribed me (dang!!! these pills are really strong lah! no JOKE!) But I'm glad that the diarrhea stopped. So, here I am in the office trying to look sane and have to get all that back logged work cleared out.