A matter of choice

Thanks to the wonder of Facebook, we are all some what connected in one way or another. I've recently been reacquainted with a class mate. A class mate from primary school, to be exact. We we were really close. We sat next to each other year after year, shared the same love for the arts and non conformity to society's social order. Heck, we even share the same last name! Of course, after years of living abroad, him in the UK while I was shipped to a small town in the Midwest, USA, we naturally went our separate ways. Since there was no Facebook at that time, our letter writing skills dwindled from being weekly affairs to monthly affairs. Soon enough, it trickled down to the ocassional annual Christmas card greetings.

So, yes! Facebook connected us again and I was ecstatic to have found this dear old friend again, so I thought. The day we met, I was somewhat surprised and needless to say a little disappointed with the person that was sitting in front of me. Why you may ask? I had envisioned him to still be this foul mouthed, witty, charismatic and energetic person I knew. Instead, there was this person sitting in front of me droning away, talking about how he needs to get married and how he can't disappoint his parents by needing to get married before the year ends.

He then asked me whether I was married or not? I said no. I then continued to say that I live alone now that I've bought my own place. His face showed a look of horror and said that I was such a horrid son to have abandoned my parents.

"What was going through this poor guy's head?" I thought.

I told him that I did not abandon my parents. I just grew up and needed my own space. After all, I still see them every week. If there were any consolation, I think my parents kinda felt relieved that I moved out.

He then went on to tell me how important it is to get married and have children. Basically his message to me was that I need to conform to social orders. After all, I am in my 30's, he added. Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against marriage or having children but to do all that in order for society to accept you is just plain bullshit! By now, I so wanted to reach across the table and strangle his neck while yelling, "who are you and what have you done to my friend"?

I guess there is two things I've learned from this episode. One, never expect a person to be the same as he or she has been before, especially after a long break since you last met. Second, society's need to conform is more powerful than I've thought. After all it has devoured my friend's free spirit to think that having a white picket fenced home Ala Brady Bunch is the best thing since the invention of white bread. As for me, I am extremely comfortable at where I am. The occasional living on the edge and dangerous liaisons do keep my life interesting. I did sense some jealousy in the eyes of my friend when I spoke of my annual trips and adventures. I guess its a matter of choice. I don't think I'll be attending his wedding dinner if it happens this year end. I might stick out too much like a sore thumb from everyone else, since I don't always conform to social orders. Now, we all don't want that to happen, do we? Or I might just go to Egypt, now that's another story....